Bridges

Plastic knives and baby spoons
pretty wings and snug cocoons
Against a dark sky
sunlight has to work a little harder
but the light becomes impossible to ignore

A friend’s friend jumped off a bridge
This is supposed to be the kind of thing we joke about
I actually know two people who know people
who have jumped off bridges

The same day she found out the news
she delivered another friend’s baby
Life goes on, she pointed out
Especially when we don’t jump off bridges

I have another friend who keeps threatening to do this
in a mild, jesting sort of manner
It is her alternative to staying in a job she hates
where she feels demeaned and stressed all of the time

Lately I have been falling into the trap
of focusing on what isn’t working
My mind gets on its hamster wheel, gets to work
mulling over work, and money, and the perfect balance

What changes me is a walk with my kids
And not just any walk
but the one where I decide to let go, let go, do less
These should be my mantras and everyone’s mantras

The one where I stop and pretend my daughter is a deer,
a kitty, a pony I get to take home and care for
The one where she picks clovers and sucks on the petal tips
The one where she takes a break in the grass and I join her
instead of sheep herding her through life

These are days of spinning my wheels but missing the hubcaps
What I need is not to change
my life or myself or my husband or my job or my kids or my house
What I need is to go stand on some bridge somewhere
without jumping
To take in that perspective, spanning water, getting some height
above my life
and taking in the choice of turning right or left
towards home

Posted in: Uncategorized

3 thoughts on “Bridges

  1. Sarah says:

    Jena –

    That is so beautiful, and I really appreciate, as always, your love and support. You are so gifted! I love you.

    Like

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