I Want to Write

I want to write something eternal.
I want to write something true.
I want the words to fall like snow from a northern sky,
to break like waves,
to run like children ecstatic at the speed and strength of their taut little bodies.
I want to write something free and mighty, a tribute and a prayer.
I want to write something timeless and timely.
I want to write something delicious and sensual,
smooth like paperstone, soft as heavy cream.
I want to write something heavy, a quilt to rest under.
I want to write something bright, an impossible bird in the tropics.
I want to write something that will put out the fire without causing any damage.
I want to write something my third eye sees –
a million moments on simulcast parade.
I want to write something that makes you inhale sharply and exhale long.
I want to write something innocent, which is to say heartbreaking.
I want to write something vivid, a photograph,
my mother on her first day of college, leaning against the ivy-rung doorway,
dancing even in that stillness.
I want to write something ambitious,
generations of sisters and mothers and daughters,
Judaism abandoned and rediscovered,
languages lost and found, four childhoods in full relief
and the names of the living and the dead intertwined
in gentle reverence and fierce connections.
I want to write something about plane crashes and deathbeds,
about Broadway shows and little girls and city streets and summer camps.
I want to write about the heart of the woman, the keeper of stories.
I want to write about the hollow eyes of the bereaved,
about the awakened heart of the one whose pain becomes a gift.
I want to write about Halloween, about teenagers, about razor blades in more ways than one.
I want to write about marriage,
the garage door of the soul opening on the eve of the wedding,
about a man becoming himself becoming a father becoming a child.
I want to write about friendship, always picking up where we left off – a week, a month, a year, a lifetime ago.
I want to write about the orphanage: Zhanna!
I want to write about the Holocaust, about the trains that haunt me.
I want to write about Christian Science, Christmas mornings, Shabbat dinners,
struggle and ambition and discovery and home.
I want to write about Pearl Primus and the butterfly.
I want to write something from start to finish to middle to end,
from here to there and back again.
I want to write about a thousand chapters.

And to think, I worry about where to start.

Posted in: Uncategorized

10 thoughts on “I Want to Write

  1. Chloe says:

    I had multiple waves of goosebumps wading in your pool of emotions, stories, lives. Selfishly, I do hope you start, because I would love to read it.

    Like

  2. bella says:

    So much here.
    I want to write a response to each thing you shared, wrote here.
    As you know, I too have been letting myself play with writing what I want to write, even if I am afraid to do just this.
    You have given me freedom.
    I want to write to, my own stories and knowing, write with you, read you.
    Here we go.

    Like

  3. Shawn says:

    Hi Jena! I’ve been meaning to actually leave a comment to tell you that I’m here … but life just keeps knocking me on my butt and, well you know. Anyway … I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this post! I can see why Bella is so fond of your site and now she has me addicted as well. Anyway, awesome post.

    Like

  4. Jena Strong says:

    Chloe – Thanks for being here.
    Bella – Yes, here we go. And girl am I glad to have company on this one.
    Mika – Damn, you’re right.
    Karen – I started this morning. The fruit fell in 1984. I’m just trusting there’s some good reason for that and going with it.
    Shawn – so glad to hear from you! Welcome.

    Like

  5. Jen Ballantyne says:

    Go for it Jena, go for it Bella, you both have the goods, I know it as surely as I know my name. You both have much of value to offer and share, please don’t hold back, I will be following along in awe. Take good care, with love Jen xx

    Like

Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s