Circle of Love

At dinnertime, the four of us take each other’s hands, making a Circle of Love in homage to my maternal grandmother whose maiden name, Renner, I took as my own middle name.

Tonight, Aviva shares the most beautiful image.

“When we make a circle, I picture that it’s a nest and the birds are bringing us our food.”

Then we share the day’s high points and low points over turkey burgers.

Later, Aviva and Pearl sit on my lap as they slurp down their creamsicles. And quietly, without fanfare, Aviva speaks. “This is my dream.”

I know just what she means. If only we could all see our dreams so clearly.

At bedtime, Pearl whispers to me as we rock. “Hot dog, Mama. Pizza. No Bobo muffin. No night night. Hot dog, Mama.”

These moments, glimpses into the minds of my children, surprise me. They wake me up, move me, amaze me, humble me, leave me incredulous even. My children have minds of their own. Imagine that!

My girls, my daughters, the ones I named, now name their own experiences, their own streams of thought, moments of bliss and resistance and evocative imaginings, flashes of unfettered self-awareness, creamsicle dreams.

P.S. There are no accidents. I realized after the fact that I wrote this post on the eve of what was my grandmother’s birthday, April 29. Happy Birthday, Grammy. The Circle of Love goes on.

9 thoughts on “Circle of Love

  1. bella says:

    So Happy to be back here, reading your words, feeling your heart.
    To see the image, the way they become felt images, it is so much more “real” than all the explanation in the world.
    Making a nest and the birds bringing food. :)
    Looking forward to reading what you wrote this past week.

    Like

  2. Bruno LoGreco says:

    I love the use of words – “My girls, my daughters, the ones I named, now name their own experiences”

    Aviva is becoming her own individual – she is growing up…

    Like

  3. PixieDust says:

    First, Happy Birthday to your grandmother…

    :-)

    Second, I have to agree, it filled me with giddy joy every time I realized my baby was her own little person. Not just my child but her own… LOVE this!

    :-D

    (((HUGS))) to all of you and your circle of love…

    Like

  4. marta says:

    The first time I left my son in daycare, I happened to say, foolishly, to my mom-in-law how leaving him really made me think about how he was setting out to have his own life, that now things would happen to him that I wouldn’t know about, that his experiences wouldn’t be like mine.

    My MIL got upset. “What? Aren’t you going to talk to him? Marta, you’ve got to keep communicating no matter how old he gets!” and on and on she went.

    Sigh. She and I often miss each other’s points.

    But it is amazing to see your child go through her or his own life! (and you can communicate with them too!)

    Like

  5. Jena Strong says:

    Bella – Happy to have you back in the circle.

    Meredith – I always love hearing from you. Congrats on your Shutter Sisters post – it’s lovely.

    Bruno – Thank you. Yes, she is…

    mrs. b. roth – what a kind comment. Thanks for reading and chiming in.

    pixiedust – beautiful words. Thanks.

    marta – Ah, mil’s. And yes, isn’t it amazing and bizarre and unnerving and inspiring, that our small people have whole experiences we don’t know about? And yes, we get to communicate with them TOO! Imagine that.

    Like

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