Short and Mad and Not Gonna Take It Anymore

PMS
Body filled with tension
Roving anger
looking for a place to land
make your own goddamn lunch
doing my best
to move through it
Feeling like the fucking maid
and knowing better
Trying to climb over the wave
catch it
ride it home
But I keep going under
tossed cursing mouth full of salt water
and knowing better
not that knowing better makes a damn bit of difference
when I’m busy fighting
and looking for a fight
and reacting to other people’s fights
and feeling like a punching bag
my six-year old’s sarcasm
and three-year old’s blame
despite the beautiful summer dinner on the table
basil from our garden
tomatoes and goat cheese olive oil garlic linguini
So I step away
glad the back screen door slams every time it closes
SLAM SLAM BANG! THERE! SEE! HA!
Feeble really to see it written out
So I look and see
that Greg has gone to lie down
Aviva’s reading on her bed
Pearl’s alone in the hammock
If one more person needs something from me
I am going to explode
but still I’m trying to do the right thing
which would actually be just to breathe in and out
and let it be let it happen let it pass
but no
I am still engaging
and I ask Aviva
want to go running?
What am I thinking?
So here we are with our funny running suits on
if you see us going by
you’ll know what led to this

Posted in: Uncategorized

5 thoughts on “Short and Mad and Not Gonna Take It Anymore

  1. Jamie lyn says:

    i hear you i hear you i hear you…each month i fear this place my body takes me to. I cant get out of my own way! I feel myself reacting in the most horrible ways and I let it happen. I feel fire burning….i wait to explode. I am in my sixth month of acupuncture for pms…finally (i think) i am feeling some results. I get so bummed about it. Running is perfect…my acupuncturist says cardio is the BEST to release all the fire…..i totally hear you….wish more mommas talked about it!

    Like

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