Cricket Coffee Cluster Cuss

I went to bed at 9:00 last night so that I could get a really solid night’s sleep.
Aviva and Pearl were like cats and mice, coming to life after dark.
My homemade tattoos left prints on the sheets. Luna y sol on my right shoulder, as rendered by Aviva, wearing her “drawing tattoo” artist hat.
I could hear the sound of quiet crickets coming from Pearl’s bed.
Aviva read.
I finally fell asleep around 10:30.
At 1:15, Pearl woke up in a fuss. I’ve been loving Fantastic Mr. Fox’s use of the word “cuss,” as in “cluster cuss,” which is pretty much what our bed felt like at that late hour.
Wet diaper. Night terror.
Wait it out. Stay away. Come back. Gentle now. Safe and sound, safe and sound. Sleep again, this time in her room. Soothed. Her, that is.
At 4:30, the birds woke me. Cool breeze after sweaty sleep.
I got up. Coffee, then a run? Or run first? No, coffee first. Maybe writing. Oooh, and reading! Then a run before everyone else wakes up?
I waited for the french press, imagining all the possibilities.
“Mama??”
Pearl on the stairs looking chilly, croaking for me. Or was that chirping? Maybe she swallowed a cricket.
Back into her bed, closed my eyes. Thought, “I am right where I belong” and instantly felt a subtle letting go in my body.
Remembered a dream from last night during one of the patchy bits of sleep. A house, a recurring dream I have that comes in many forms. This time, it isn’t my house exactly, but true to form there is a whole wing of it that surprises me. Am I really this big?
She fell back to sleep in no time, and my coffee was waiting for me, as if someone else had made it so thoughtfully for me, knowing I’d be up early.
Write first, then run.
And then, now, here comes the rain, quieting the birds who’ve returned to their cozy nests while I surrender to the words, to the inside.

p.s. Coffee’s cold. Rain has stopped. Birds are back. Still time for sneakers. And here comes the sun.

One thought on “Cricket Coffee Cluster Cuss

  1. GailNHB says:

    Oh my goodness! I thought I was the only one…

    For a long time now, I have had the recurring dream that I discover rooms and wings and floors in my house that I’d never seen or noticed before. I keep wondering – What on earth does that dream mean??? I think it means that there are parts of me that I have yet to discover, uncover, and enjoy. Hmmm………………

    Like

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