The Roar Sessions: Shawn Fink

Shawn1Taming My Inner Roar
by Shawn Fink

My roar was stifled in my childhood. I never truly felt like I had a voice, like no one was ever truly listening to me.

My roar was stifled during my years in a job where my boss overshadowed me and I never felt seen or heard.

My roar was stifled with friends who were louder, more bold and more extroverted than I could ever dream to be.

My roar was stifled with peers who had more clout, more money and more power.

The result of not feeling like I was heard, was that I felt the need to shout and I grew a sharp tongue as a result.

Sometimes my roar fired back out of anger.
Sometimes it fired back out of fiery passion.
Sometimes it fired back in sarcasm.

Sometimes, now and then, it still does. It’s still learning.

***

The moment I realized that I didn’t need to be the loudest, the most powerful or the one everyone stopped and listened to was the very moment I found my inner roar.

This is a roar that sends ripples across the world and enters the hearts and minds of people who need to hear my message, my words, my wisdom in that very moment that they need it.

This is a roar that is powerful beyond measure.

Turns out, I just needed to tame my inner roar.

I needed do work that I loved — and to take action on what matters most to me. I needed to learn to live my truth and speak only what matters most to me.

And I needed to believe in myself.

As soon as I did that, my inner roar began projecting more loudly into the world and became a real voice for change.

My people are drawn to my strong, quiet roar.

My people gather around to hear my powerfully soft stories.

My people bring their ears close to really hear me.

Now my roar has a nice balance. It can still speak up when it needs to and it does.

But it’s also found power in silence and softness.

And it certainly doesn’t sit around waiting for permission to speak.

I’ve learned to trust my inner roar immensely.

By learning to trust that deep, powerful voice within — and not being afraid to share it — I’ve built an international community of women who also have a voice and want to be heard.

***

One of my 9-year-old twin daughters has a loud, powerful roar.

And the other one has a soft please-listen-to-me roar.

I think back to my own childhood and how no matter the sound of my voice, I just wanted to be heard.

And so I listen to my daughters’ BIG stories and their SOFT stories.

I hear them. What they are saying. And what they are not saying.

I see them struggle to get their point across, to be right, to be the wisest one of all.

And I’m teaching them, slowly, that their voice matters. It’s powerful beyond measure.

That they have a voice and they need to trust the truth that lies within them at all times.

I’m teaching them to love and tame their inner roar.

And to believe in it — even if no one is listening.

Because eventually they will.

**

Shawn2Shawn Fink is the mom of twin girls, founder of the online community The Abundant Mama Project and the author of book “Savoring Slow.” She is also an early riser advocate and loves coffee more than words can say. Read her weekly roars about motherhood in her weekly emails where she offers tips, tools and inspiration for happy motherhood.

21 thoughts on “The Roar Sessions: Shawn Fink

  1. Henrietta says:

    Lovely, to learn appropriate roaring is a challenge I am just managing to get the better of! I really hear you when you talk about needing to roar loudly just to get heard. I often came across as abrasive and spiky just because I was so unused to being heard I thought I wouldn’t be listened to unless I was like that. I’m learning that people do actually want to hear what I say!! Lovely post xx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Deli Moussavi-Bock says:

    This so deeply resonates with me, not being seen or heard in childhood and then the sharp tongue! Mmmmm, beautiful. And for our kids as well.

    Like

  3. April says:

    I can relate to so much of this- even the former boss. I’m still working to develop my inner roar, but I know it’s there- I can feel it stirring. Thank you, Shawn, for this beautiful post.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Mari says:

    This really touched me — I’ve perfected my sarcastic roar over the years but it’s not really my heart, it’s my wanting to be heard! Thank you, thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Amanda Welschbillig says:

    Awesome essay Shawn. You have an incredible gift, cultivated obviously, to say the words of all our experience. Thank you.

    Like

  6. Nor says:

    Wow-this is so good! That line Shawn wrote, “I needed to learn to live my truth and speak only what matters most to me” really resonated with me. I need to do that! This was SO very inspiring to me! Thank YOU!

    Like

  7. Amy says:

    Love this piece so much! I was so unheard as a child that, as a working adult, I talked very fast, not believing that anybody would want to hear what I had to say. Now I am getting used to what my roar sounds like and when best to use it. What beautiful words Shawn writes here!

    Like

  8. promiserani says:

    As a shy child, this resonates with me so much, I have always felt louder than I am! I hope, with your guidance and mine, that my little ones will find theirs, too.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. erin says:

    The sharp tongue that results from anger…this is my roar and it is wicked and hurtful. I will practice for the rest of my life to tame this aspect of my roar as I see when it sounds off the turmoil and emotional hurt that results…This is not the roar I want to be known for. Another amazing perspective from one of my favorite Mamas:) Thanks Shawn!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Jennie says:

    I love this post! It makes me feel lucky to be working with Shawn and taming my inner roar. More importantly, it reminds me to let my daughter’s voice be heard and to tell her it matters. Really great writing from a wise mama!

    Liked by 1 person

Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s