I’m Calling on You First

JenaWho feels this way some days? Tired laced with sad and a side of headache?

Who gets your attention as tonight’s wind took mine, when the lights flickered and the whole house shook and the power sputtered and paused, making us wonder if we’d lose it for good or if the old pines all around out room would take the roof out and us under it?

Who wants a piece of cake? It’s baking now and who knows that feeling of wanting to eat the whole thing alone but in fact given the choice I’d rather tell you to pull up a chair and hand you a plate?

Who catches your reflection in the gusts? Who lights up at the prospect of prayer? Who out there finds that just plain weird? Who wonders about things like where the fox hides out in the storm? Who wants to sit here with me, reading poems in the dark?

Who needs to step away from words for a while, and who needs a bridge and who a rope and who a snack and who a miracle and who an unopened envelope and who to hold on a little tighter and who to let go a little sooner?

Who finds death a kind of caveat?

Who finds birth and broth and breasts and beating hearts to have so much in common?

Who gets way to hung up on technicalities and who gets off on them without a single fucking consequence?

Who writes the rhetoric and who tears it down and who cares if it’s good, just write, that’s right, that’s my gospel along with the secrets the rabbis kept and passed down through hidden groves of old-growth trees across the fields of so many centuries?

Who would like to take a stab at this riddle? You, there? You who always sit in the front row, you who sit behind that tall one in the back? I see you, you know. I’m calling on you first tonight. Pick a question and tell us your answer in a dream. We’ll be listening.

8 thoughts on “I’m Calling on You First

  1. Chris says:

    I blush and stammer and burn hot to be chosen first to speak, that drawing of attention to me, sitting in the middle, trying to be inconspicuous, not causing any trouble. When we try to learn how to hold steady in this life, do we risk losing all of the times when we “light up” and shine? Or should we keep on riding the outrageous highs and lows, holding fast for the next “woo-hoo”?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. daniel says:

    “For my cheek is the universe’ cloister
    And if you can make your prayers sweet enough

    Then Hafiz will lean over and offer you
    All the warmth in my body
    In case God is busy
    Doing something else

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Lisa Sorensen says:

    Ohh, Jena…. this is…I don’t know how to say what… just that it works its way into me immediately and then just keeps going deeper and closer and tighter in to loosen some bits and sing to others and draw me closer to something. Is it you? yes. and is it god, also? I think so. Is it my own soul’s beating breast? yes… All of that.
    I feel at times what I can only describe as universal pain because it extends so far beyond the obstacles of my life and out into the abyss of despair. It is a living place for me. And as much as I can touch the pain and feel it slice into me, I can feel also embody the great wide open heart of love and ecstasy.
    Thank you for doing what you do–bringing all of that here, right here in our hands, to feel and know and link up with.

    Liked by 1 person

    • daniel says:

      I feel all of what Lisa says here. Especially the line: “Who finds death a kind of caveat?” sent me all over the place to understand it—-caveat, not just “beware” but “to take care” “to pay attention, to take heed”…..it is a special grace, as Lisa refers to, that you do your writing Jena to bring us out, alive, aware and maybe “touching the pain” of being alive. Thank you Lisa. Thank you again, Jena.

      Liked by 1 person


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