Can’t Everlasting

empty-seat

Day began with bells from St. Bridget’s
Songbirds who are clearly morning people
Rocket fuel coffee and me on the hammock swing
I keep hoping the former downstairs neighbors
will forget to come back for.

With Jane Kenyon and dull right temple
headache and base of neck throb
the kind you want to rub a crystal on
like the ones my wife ordered, a chakra spread
for our more woo-woo days.

With daughter pilfering moms’ wardrobe
rocking the cute-boy look, backwards
baseball hat, with bleeding so heavily
I had to turn around not a block from home
With headache still not subsiding.

With Roar Sessions and good morning, writers
Hot hot sun and windows down, Diet Coke
Cool Ranch Doritos in the car pretending
I was on the beach topless preferably eating
the most American thing I could crave.

With business partner and mind if we cancel
Back into bed, splayed out like an outline
right arm up and left arm down, legs
akimbo, belly against mattress breathing
sweaty deep summer hormone sleep.

With attempt at doing day met by “can’t”
Twinge of panic (what if can’t is everlasting?)
Reiki Master woman I married, I ask her
Baby, can you help me? She can, she does
with so much love and more sleep comes.

Day ends full circle surrender to ride
not fight waves like these, not to try
to keep up when that feels like crawling
across hot sand, trusting nothing
will be lost by listening to the body

that knows what she needs, knows
only sleep will come as cure for ache
and waiting till too late always comes
to no good. Might as well let the day
have its way with you and the night
breeze in through open window.

Photo credit: Tom van Hoogstraten

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